Life gets busy. Between work, family, endless to-do lists, and the stresses of everyday life, your once-steamy love life can start to feel like an afterthought. In fact, relationship experts at The Gottman Institute suggest that stress and lack of time are two of the most common reasons couples experience a decline in sexual intimacy1. And let’s not even get started on the distractions—texts, emails, and the black hole that is social media don’t exactly help matters.
But here’s the truth: a vibrant sex life doesn’t just happen. You have to be intentional about keeping that spark alive, especially when life gets hectic. So, how do you bring passion back into your relationship without feeling like it’s just one more thing on your plate? Here are a few strategies to reignite that fire.
1. Ditch the Distractions
If you’re scrolling through Instagram in bed, it’s not exactly setting the mood. Studies show that excessive phone use can negatively impact relationship satisfaction and intimacy2. Keep phones and laptops out of the bedroom, and you’ll instantly create more space for connection.
2. Increase Physical Touch
Physical affection is a cornerstone of intimacy, and simply increasing small gestures of touch can help bring back that spark. Kissing more often, hugging, or just snuggling on the couch are small but powerful ways to keep the romantic connection alive. In fact, a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior suggests that couples who regularly kiss and engage in affectionate touch are more likely to remain sexually active and avoid slipping into the "roommate phase."3 It doesn't have to be elaborate—just a gentle touch or spontaneous kiss throughout the day can make a big difference in how close you feel.
3. Embrace Spontaneity
When was the last time you did something unexpected? New experiences fuel excitement, so bring back a sense of playfulness by finding moments to connect throughout the day–a surprise kiss, a spontaneous shower together, or a flirty text can go a long way. Research shows that novelty in relationships can boost feelings of attraction, so don’t be afraid to get a little creative.4
4. Schedule It (Yes, Really)
It might sound unromantic, but scheduling sex can actually increase satisfaction in long-term relationships. Research supports that couples who prioritize physical intimacy—even if it’s planned—report feeling closer and more connected.4 By carving out that space, you’re sending the message that your relationship—and your physical connection—are priorities. And who says scheduling can’t be fun? Build anticipation by dropping hints or teasing throughout the day to keep the excitement alive.
5. Talk About It
Sometimes, the biggest barrier to a thriving sex life is a lack of communication. If you’re feeling disconnected, don’t wait for things to improve on their own. Talk openly with your partner about what you both need—whether it’s more time for intimacy, trying something new, or simply finding ways to be more present together. Honest conversations about your needs can help get you both on the same page and create a stronger emotional and physical connection.
At the end of the day, keeping passion alive takes effort, but it doesn’t have to feel like work. By clearing distractions, embracing spontaneity (yes, even in the shower!), and making your relationship a priority, you’ll find that the passion isn’t as far off as it seems. Intimacy isn’t something that needs to be forced; it’s something that naturally grows when you carve out the time and space to nurture it—even when life gets in the way.
